Why I Repent

As a Catholic that is also a Clevelander in love with the Browns, Cavs and Indians, I have often equated my sports teams with the sins we all try to purge.  Below are examples of why I repent for the Cleveland Sports Scene:

The Curse of Cy Young, Shoeless Joe,etc.:

Not many people know that Cleveland had both Cy Young AND Shoeless Joe Jackson on their baseball team “The Naps.”  Needless to say, they didn’t stay there long.  To be fair, the owners of the Naps traded Cy Young to their “other” team, the St. Louis Cardinals.  Thanks, National League, for letting them own two teams.  This is only lessened by the fact that Shoeless Joe was a cheater…so, yeah, there’s that…

The Curse of Chief Wahoo:

 This is a better explanation than I could ever come up with: http://www.clevelandfrowns.com/2008/06/curse-of-chief-wahoo.html

The Curse of Rocky Calavito:

 First explained by Terry Pluto, the trading of “The Rock” in 1960 lead to a series of disasterous happenings for the Indians.  This, plus the Curse of Chief Wahoo, generally means that the Indians will never win…ever.  At least until there is a real salary cap in MLB.

 The Drive/The Fumble:   

 The former, a 98-yeard drive in 5 minutes, 2 seconds, is more about John Elway than the Browns’ defense.  Although that FG in overtime was “no good.”

The Fumble, however, will always live in my head as the moment I truly learned what it was like to be a Cleveland sports fan.  I still remember how Bernie put an arm around Byner after the play, and how I felt sorry for him.  It still hurt like a bitch, though…

 The Shot:

I can’t even talk about this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Shot

The Move:

 (1) Take one Bastard.  (2) Add lots of debt.  (3) Mix with a desperate football-starved city willing to pay said Bastard lots of money.  (4) Bake until an entire city is angry, pissy, and hopeless.  (5) Serve with a side of middle finger after said Bastard drafts two Hall of Famers and wins the Super Bowl.

Jose Mesa:

 Blame Tony Fernandez, the Marlins, the fact that the Indians had the best record but still did not have home-field advantage, but there is no way that Jose Mesa should have blown that game.  Chief Wahoo and the Rock were smiling.

Indians Post-Season 2007:

 I knew this wasn’t going to go well after the Indians had a 3-1 series lead against the Red Sox. The local sports talk radio station gleefully announced that Indians “American League Champions” shirts were in town and ready to go on sale the next morning after we won.  I immediately thought, “Oh crap.”  And I was right.